He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
