Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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