this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
