hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
