i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I cockslap morals
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
