mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
