An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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