my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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