Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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