i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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