I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
