When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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