Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
