the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
