This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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