i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
