No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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