I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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