Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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