If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
