I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
