Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
