He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
