whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
