I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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