kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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