YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
