Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
