I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
