Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
