Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
