it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
