you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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