David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
