dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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