Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
