That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
do herpes really smell.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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