I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I haven't been this sober since birth.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
