Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
