What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
