Don't you send me to vm
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
