Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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