I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
