Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
