I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
