you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Are these your boobs on my camera?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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