So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
