I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
