honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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