Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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